“What’s in the Box?” starring yours truly

If I were to have my very own reality TV show based on my life, it would have to be about my weekend exploits ’cause nobody wants to watch me sitting at a computer all week (well, except my wife–y’know, bills and all). While the weekdays may be mundane, the weekends are a treasure hunt, so come with me on a little adventure I like to call…

The premise of the show would be my trips to yard sales and flea markets, where I look for large boxes of items that are tucked away under a table or left in a corner. You know the ones, those boxes that are filled with junk that the owners don’t even think is worth putting out on a table. Without digging through it, I would make an offer on the whole box rather than a single item–most sellers are happy to be rid of an entire box in a single sale, so the challenge is to see how low I can get them to go. The sellers wave goodbye as I pull out of their driveway and tell the camera how much fun I was to have around, while I wring my hands and cackle at them as I drive away with their treasure. Suckers!

Once I get home, the box gets emptied out and I separate the trash from the treasure. Of course every box would have an insanely rare toy or Picasso sketch at the bottom, since the show will be rigged. But hey, it’s a show about a guy opening boxes of junk, you need some drama right?

Who knows, maybe the season finale would have a real surprise…

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This week, the League was asked to write about their life as a reality TV show. These folks lead much more interesting lives than me and would make for some great shows: Monster Cafe, Penny Hunter, Technophobe, Badgers Plastic Bubble, and Iok Watches Stuff on Netflix. Check ’em out!