Just kidding! According to my “SEO for Dummies” book, that headline is sure to be web traffic-generating gold! I also thought it would be fun to see if it would cause Dex to have an aneurism over at AEIOU and Sometimes Why.
This week’s challenge from the League asks you to reboot and recast one of your favorite movies with today’s Hollywood stars. While Star Wars should never be rebooted, the movie I selected definitely could use a remake…
It’s time to reboot Shoot to Kill
I love, love, love this movie and have seen it dozens of times. The movie is a classic adventure story, heist flick, buddy cop movie mixed in with a dash of comedy. If you haven’t seen it, I advise you to stop reading now and go watch it, because the rest of this article is going to ruin some of the major plot points– and there is a MAJOR spoiler in this movie, so don’t let me ruin it for you. (Some wonderful soul uploaded the whole darn thing to YouTube so go watch it now!)
Tom Berenger was probably the weakest link in the original cast, but that is going to be corrected in the reboot–his hiking boots will be filled by none other than Bruce Willis. Willis is the most versatile actor in Hollywood and makes everything better. He would play the ill-tempered, rugged outdoorsman with a soft spot for his girl better than anyone out there.
FBI agent Warren Stanton
This character was originally portrayed by the incomparable Sidney Poitier. This was the most difficult role to recast, because how do you replace Sidney Poitier? I thought about putting Liam Neeson in this role, but wasn’t sure how he would play with Bruce Willis. I think Laurence Fishburne would be an excellent partner to Mr. Willis and can see them recreating the mountain climbing scenes very well. Neither of these guys is as young and invincible as they once were, which is why they both are perfect for the roles.
Steve (the bad guy)
Clancy Brown has always been a great bad guy, and his role as the extortionist in this movie was absolutely made for him. In the reboot, Christolph Waltz would be an excellent replacement–he’s smart and creepy enough to pull off the role with ease and I would pay good money to see any movie with him playing the villain.
Remember when Kirstie Alley was really hot? Don’t believe me kids? Go watch the original Shoot to Kill movie and let me know what you think. Scarlet Johannssen is at her best when she dresses down, and I’m sure she could rock the flannel in this role. The major plot difference between the reboot and the original would be that ScarJo’s “Sarah” would have to be the daughter and not the girlfriend of Knox because that age difference is just too wide. Having this character as Knox’s daughter would ramp up his determination to get her back safely.
The other hikers could be played by just about anyone. It might be fun to put Seth Rogan or Ty Burrell in the mix.
A reboot is always a tricky thing. No one wants to see a classic movie remade with a whole new cast of characters, because the biggest reason a movie becomes a “classic” is its players. Harrison Ford will always be Indiana Jones, and Sylvester Stallone will always be Rocky Balboa. It should take a generation or two before anyone would consider recasting those characters, but lesser-known movies are ripe for rebooting. Shoot to Kill was a great movie, but it certainly hasn’t appeared on the AFI’s Top 100 movies list, so I’d love to see it remade, and maybe some more people would grow to appreciate the original as much as I do.
This is the latest post in response to the weekly blog challenge presented by the League of Extraordinary Bloggers. I’m not the only one rebooting Hollywood. Check out some other 80’s classics getting the ‘boot: Taxi Driver, M.A.S.K., Beastmaster, Three Amigos, Krull, Apocalypse Now, and Masters of the Universe (and more!).
Dex (@Dex1138) says
I’m actually hoping someone does that post. Since I’m not “up” on my up and coming actors it’d be interesting to see someone’s take on recasting the roles.
Still trying to think of something for this assignment myself…
I was suffering from the same problem, which is why all my actors are AARP members (with the exception of Johannsen). 😉
When I saw that your reboot was Shoot to Kill my mind instantly went to Ron Perlman as Steve…Im not really sure why.
I’m in the minority but I’m not a huge fan of Ron Perlman. I think he’s a great supporting actor, but don’t think he can carry a whole movie unless he is in full makeup a la Hellboy. Personally, I’ve gotten kind of bored with him on Sons of Anarchy.
Reis O'Brien says
Okay, when I saw your title, I almost blew coffee out of my nose. My gut reaction is somewhere along the lines of, “YOU CAN’T REBOOT STAR WARS! IT’S SACRED!”, but a part of me would love to see what someone could come up with.
Taylor Kitsch as Han Solo…
Reis O'Brien says
Paxton Holley says
Spit take aside, my interest was piqued for Star Wars. Anything a reboot does can’t be any worse than the majority of the prequels and the Clone Wars TV series.
I haven’t seen this movie, Brian, so I have to not read it to avoid spoilers. I’ll return to it later.
I would highly recommend this movie to you Pax. It holds up really well for an 80’s flick.
I had plans to do a Star Wars one, but make it like, totally horrible. Maybe you should do that as a topic for a future edition? Worst cast for a remake?!
hmmm, that could be a lot of fun. Again, Taylor Kirsch as Han Solo. 😉
God bless, I love this movie. Haven’t seen it or thought about it in years. Used to be on a continuous loop on the USA network.
Would love to see a reboot!
I’m gonna go with Bradley Cooper as the lead, Idris Elba in Portier’s role. I like Brother Midnight’s suggestion of Pearlman as the bad guy and just because she’s tough and rugged in Castle I say Stana Katic for Sarah.
Nice! I actually considered Idris Elba (and even Will Smith!) but I wanted someone a little older to play nice with Bruce Willis. Glad to hear someone else likes this film as much as me.
The Goodwill Geek says
I remember really liking this film because it was a country mouse city mouse action thriller. With that in mind, Pixar should do a reboot of this movie and call it Rattaoie 2: Electric Boogaloo. Keep all the same plot, just with rats.
OR… Do a live-action reboot with all the original cast, except place it entirely in a retirement home. Tom and Sidney catch a chill in the kitchen while trying to get from one end of the home to another, and hunker together naked on the floor to stay alive until an orderlie helps them up. Then, when they find Kirstie, she’s eaten her kidnapper.
You lost me with the rats, but your closing remark was pure gold. 😉
The Goodwill Geek says
Well, seriously though, I really did like the original movie a LOT, and I thought that your casting choices were great. I think this movie truly is rife for a reboot, and with the right budget and cinematography, the survival aspects of the movie could be amped up to 11.