This week, the League of Extraordinary Bloggers asked us to reveal to the world our super powers. Stand back, as I dramatically remove my black-rimmed glasses and tear open my suit — I am…
Parking Space Man!
Yep, that’s me. I have the uncanny ability to find a good parking space, no matter how crowded the event. [gasps from the crowd.]
Okay, that may not be the most amazing super power, but I do have another impressive power — I have tunnel vision. Some might think tunnel vision is a bad trait, but for me, as a collector of cool things, it definitely comes in handy. When I walk through a thrift store, yard sale, or antique mall, I feel myself slip into “seeker mode.” If you’re standing with me, don’t even try to have a conversation, because you will sound like an adult in the world of the Peanuts until I am sure that I have scoured every square inch of the shelves.
Picture walking through a store filled with crowded shelves, and seeing it through the eyes of the Terminator T-800. Yep, that’s kind of what it’s like. While I scan items, I visually calculate their value in my head and try to remember if it is something I need for myself or someone else. I log certain items into my memory banks and may circle back around for a second viewing after seeing the rest of the offerings.
Not too long ago, I entered the local Goodwill (which is fast becoming one of my favorite hunting grounds) and scanned the room to get a feel for the layout, when my eyes focused on a corner of a framed poster that was peeking out from beneath a stack of other framed art. This was at the back of the store, and there were piles and piles of clothing and household goods between me and the poster. The small portion of the image I could see was neon pinks and oranges and intrigued me. I could see nothing else in the store as I made my way to the back to explore that tiny bit of neon ink. It turns out that the poster was an M.C. Escher black light poster from the late 60’s — and it had friends. In all, there were five framed posters, for $5 each. I’m thrilled to have added these to my Marvel Third Eye black light posters. If you thought Escher prints were trippy before, you should see them glowing in the dark!
Over the years, I’ve refined my skill to be able to size up a yard sale from the car, able to tell if the seller has junk or gold, without even slowing the car. If my tunnel vision spots a teenager’s bicycle in the yard, or a mid 80’s car in the driveway, I’m going to stop. If I spot anything plastic poking out of a box, I’m going to stop. If the yard is covered in sheets with clothes neatly folded on it, or piles of baby toys, I’m gone. the yard sale season begins this weekend, and I fully intend to put these super powers to the test once more!
Are you gifted with tunnel vision or an equally impressive super power? Do tell.
For more super powered friends, check out GI Jigsaw and Yelinna.
Those are awesome. I totally would have bought those too.